These are just fortunes that I've found quite amusing. Hope that you do too..

• This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
  
  
• It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black.
  
  
• A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
  
  
• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
  
  
• "I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?
  
  He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work for him then.
  -- Steven Wright
  
  
• It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  
  
• It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
  
  
• Seat belts in Indianapolis race cars had kind of a funny beginning. Before WWII, they were not allowed. In 1941, Joie Chitwood was bouncing around in his car so much that he couldn't hold his foot on the gas. He took the seat belt from his dirt car, and that solved the problem. When the officials heard about it, they wanted him to take it out. They finally agreed that he could use it after he promised that he would release it if he thought he was going to crash.
  
  
• "When I came down upside down and started hitting the gravel I thought, 'Hmmm, I don't like this very much.'....It seemed to go on a long time. The last couple of rolls were a bit unnecessary. I thought I'd got the message by then to be honest that I'd had an accident. I didn't feel I needed the last two..."
  - Martin Brundle in the 'Independant', 11-3-96